To make matters worse, most people suck at selling themselves, and do a terrible job of their profiles.And, of course, the ones who good at selling themselves generally do so by misrepresenting themselves to some extent.There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.Online dating lures us with the false promise of an “ideal” partner so much that we apply filters that ensure we never get to meet that person in the first place.
Before online dating existed, finding a compatible fit was far less clinical; you’d meet someone in real life, and if you enjoyed their company you might decide to on another date, maybe more.
To answer this, let’s take a look at some of the main reasons online dating doesn’t work. Researchers in the UK recently calculated the odds of finding a compatible partner if they used the average person’s requirements (in terms of desired age, physical requirements, location, and so on).
They found that just over 84,440 people in the UK fit the average person’s requirements, from an adult population of 47 million. In other words, applying the average person’s filters when it comes to finding a compatible partner gives you less than a 1 in 500 chance of being successful.
Your reasons for finding someone are often broader and more diverse; you may not even be really sure if it’s romance you’re looking for at all.
Add those complications to the fact that online dating is, for many people, a thoroughly dispiriting experience, and it’s no wonder that older adults are more likely to rate it as a negative experience than any other demographic. If people are finding love through online dating sites, why does it fail so many others?
Nobody’s profile really represents what they’re like in real life.